Introverts Decoded

It’s time to understand introverts better while they are blushing on themselves.

Being a unique kind of Introvert, predicting and visualizing each side of a situation is always easy for me. I am aware of the misunderstandings that usually one can have about an introvert and at the same time, I am aware of the hidden sorrow buried in the corner of an introvert. So I decided to remind people that we, ‘introverts’ exist, yeah we are less in number but we do exist.

Introvert- “A person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.”

Introverts, who are they? They are normal human beings too! But with some pinch of unique qualities. They are mysterious, relaxed, motivated by internal conviction, creative, out-of-box thinkers, and loving by nature. They love introspection so solitude is essential above all for them. Their nature of turning inward is the source of comfort as well as a key asset for survival. Their best ideas come apparently out of the blue when their mind is wondering. They don’t need external stimulation or inspiration to work hard. They get it by their inner self, from the ideas and thought process running in their mind. They do not seek for reward or appreciation, they know who they are, what they want and what matters in their life. And the most importantly neither they can be created nor one can be like them, they are just born this way.

Though the world we live in, is dominated by extroverts, most spectacularly famous people in many fields are ought to be introverts! Umm, hard to believe, right? Here are some examples of introverted people: Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Adolf Hitler, Bill Gates, Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg. Wait the list isn’t over! Warren Buffett, Abraham Lincoln, Christina Aguilera, Emma Watson, Deepika Padukone, and Steve Wozniak are also amongst few well-known introverts.

Before starting, let’s have a look at the history of these terms. Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst was the first one who founded analytical psychology and defined introversion and extroversion. Later on, a study carried by Richard Lippa in 1978, proposed that there is one more factor which plays an important role which is ‘Expressive control’. Expressive control depends upon individual’s ability to control their behavior.

Humans are complex and every human is unique in every manner but at the same time, it is also true that an individual can either be introverted or extroverted.

When I was writing this article I was trying several ways to clearly figure out this ‘special kind’ but yet not enough to decode this special kind completely. Introverts are so valuable that I do not want to mess with their secrets just because of a wrong presentation. So I have decided to represent this in a quite different and subtle way.

So let me introduce our imaginary character ‘Aarush’, he has a typical introverted personality. He is a person who is confident, self-inspired, and disciplined. Who tend to remain reserved and private most of the time.

One fine day, he proposes a girl, ‘Riya’, the one whom he liked. At first, the girl was surprised as she was not expecting this from Aarush and the next moment she was happy inside as she had been waiting for this to happen. Without giving a second thought, she confessed that she likes him too. She was so eager to know about Aarush that she kept asking him so many questions all the time. Aarush, being an introvert, found hard to open up with Riya.
But he thought to give it a try and decided to open up to her.

And here is the conversation between them.

Riya: I am still surprised Aarush…

Aarush: Wait wait, first tell me what you thought about me from my first impression?

Riya: Hmm on my very first day, you didn’t even look at me, all busy in your daily activities. You hardly talked, stayed away from gossips. You were not even aware of the difficulties and problems faced by people around you. And that headphone! Is it necessary all the time? I thought you are a workaholic, arrogant, and rude person who does not care for others. But the way you speak one to one, the way you help people in case of emergency, the way you participate in group activities, confused me a lot. So I was sure that you are not the one the way everyone knows, you are hiding something from every one.

Aarush: Really? I never thought this way. :D

Riya: So tell me who are you, like in real?

Aarush: … (OMG! she directly asked about my core secret. Should I tell her or … ?)

So after a while, Aarush is ready to reveal about the real “me” of him.

Aarush: I like being alone, and I prefer activities like reading, writing, and thinking. Partying all the time is not my cup of tea. I get drained while in a group and seek for an instant recharge by spending time alone. I am a good observer, you can say observation is my compelling asset. I do not like to show off and I try hard to utilize each second of this life. And utilizing does not mean working all the time.
I am cautious about my secrets and do not like to reveal it to anyone. Everyone will not get a chance to know about me, I am very picky while choosing my friends. I believe in quality over quantity so I have only 2- 3 friends. Maybe, you do not know but I am very popular online. :D You see the only things that I wanted to show so obviously predicting me in not an easy task. And even if you are successful in predicting me, that may be because I am letting you predict. Headphones, I love headphones, it is a doorway to enter my world from this world. Whenever I feel drained I need alone time, this does not mean I am lonely.

Yes, this is true, there are few who like to express themselves through music as they hear all kind of music and know which song fits a particular moment. They accompany the one with whom they want to be with, else they prefer to be alone. There are very few who can understand an introvert in reality.

“The philosophy of the wisest man that ever existed is mainly derived from the act of introspection.” -William Godwin

Riya: Have you ever been in love?

Aarush: Love, love is something that I am afraid of. Yes, I had been in love. It has shaken me throughout, as it was a battle between my desires and solitude. Love needs interaction while I prefer alone time. I am not the one who falls for anyone, I will observe her, test her. If it has future then only I would like to be part of it. My confidence gives me the power to make the first move in love. I do not like to keep on saying those cheesy lines all the time but I know the ways to make her feel special. I can sense the things that she has not told me yet.

The one, the special soul, who would be my lover and partner will have higher priority into my life. She will get a chance to dive deeper into my life, now predicting me can be easier. There are many things I want to tell her, it is like a flood of thoughts stored in my heart for so long. Yes, sometimes I really crave for some one to talk to. I can step out of my comfort zone to be with her. I do not like to become crutches of her but a source of inspiration. Now all my resourcefulness will be available to her.

They do not speak out even if they are hurt hard by anyone, their feelings remain aloof. This complex nature is the reason why it is difficult to understand them. So they look for someone who can understand, and cherish them in downtime.

“Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” -Susan Cain

Riya: How do you like to socialize with people?

Aarush: I prefer one-on-one instead of group talk. I usually take some time to know people around me, as I simply observe them at first. I prefer doing my stuff instead of partying all the time as it causes a feeling of guilt in my mind. Though I prefer to be quiet and wait for my turn to come in a group conversation, they say I am a good public speaker. I think, my deeper understanding of any subject helps me speak more effectively. This may be the reason why people ask me for suggestions in case of difficulties they are facing.

Have you ever thought of watching a movie, and hanging out alone? I can do it easily and I have done it many times. I like when seats around me are empty, it gives me more comfort. I do not like to hurt or play with anyone’s feelings. I just hate betraying anyone.

Yes, they like to live on their own. They do not express their need and desires and will not ask for help unless it’s emergency. They avoid explaining their actions to others, all those questions are just a smile away.

Riya: What about your professional life?

Aarush: I like being a professional and know how to separate professional life from social and personal life. Work is work, a place to get job done. I really get distracted by chatty colleagues, sometimes it irritates me a lot. I am not afraid of talking to anyone, whoever it may be. I do not hesitate to accept whatever I have done whether it is good or bad. It is true that I have my own logic for everything I do. It helps me think out of the box.

I prefer to be in my role while working. I really care for the time I spend, so I am not gonna explain those new topics. I am not gonna help you with the problem you are facing unless it is necessary. And most importantly I will not help unless and until someone ask for help.

Research says, under right circumstances, they can be the best leaders of all as their introversion helps them to understand others while their analyzing skills helps to get to the root of the problem. Their resourcefulness comes in action as they are aware of a most efficient solution for any problem. If an introvert is spending time with you for any reason, then I will say, you should consider yourself a lucky one! They are so much engaged in activities like reading and adopting new skills that he or she is the one asset that you want to be always with you. But they know the right time to show up their knowledge. Decisions taken by them may feel too quick but it is the result of those lengthy algorithms running in their mind.

Knowing your teammates is the key ingredient for collaborative success. -Rohit Surwase

Riya: Which is the most important thing in your life?

Aarush: Relationships, it has all exceptional allowances that I can have.

How do you feel now? Don’t you think, whatever we did to them is injustice? Because they are wired that way, and not trying to act like that. They do what they say. If you are lucky enough to get on their priority list then you should be proud of yourself as they are the most trustworthy person you can have in this modern world. They can be the backbone of your life and will not let you down in any situation.

They know more than they say.
 They think more than they speak.
 They observe more than you know.
 They know when and how to listen to people.
 They know how to stand alone.
 They know how much is too much.

Here are some Misconceptions about them:

Introverts are cold, or standoffish.
Reason — Many introverts have learned to cope with constant over-stimulation by putting up a wall against themselves.

They turn into different being altogether.
Reason — They do it once they reach the level of tolerance, they prefer to go into their shell. As they know when they are annoyed, they sound very harsh.

They are rude and arrogant.
Reason- It’s their less talkative nature, not a choice. Suggestions given by them may feel weird but trust me, you should give it a try, you will not regret it.

This is not all, the more you get to know about them, the more you will get amazed. If you are one of those, who think someone around you is uninterested and coincidentally he or she is an introvert then I will say you are an unlucky person who can not see all the colors that he or she has.

Image Source: www.pomegranates.org

Here’s an introvert. Extremely tough to open up. Not suitable everywhere because it’s hard and messy to open up. People find it boring because it takes up a lot of efforts to peel open. But, those who open it enjoy this fruit like heaven. Sweet, tangy, sour, full of flavors and rich in antioxidant. Once, opened up, it’s tough to resist. Not so popular, costly, always recommended by doctors but gets replaced by someone easy to go! Only a few people truly admire this fruit :) [Source: Jay Pandit’s answer on Quora]

(Sources- Title Image: www.pomegranates.org)

Originally Published on Medium July 29, 2017.